I burn bright
On burnout as a writer
Vulnerability starts with honesty. So honestly, I’m burnt out.
I started the morning looking at my computer screen with the same sinking feeling that I’d experienced for the past week. I am working on a novel and I don’t know where it goes next.
I worked on it for four hours before my vision started to blur and I was forced to take a break. I remembered a friend saying on Substack that Walking is a part of the writing process, so is tea. So I walked around the block outside my residence and drank some tea but I still felt lost. Then another friend reminded me that while there are elements of struggle in the creative process, there is no forcing it. Effort is needed, desperation is not. And I was desperate to take another big step towards finishing my manuscript. Why? Because I’m impatient. Because I’m tired. Because I want to see the finished product. I want to be proud. Now.
For me, this is burn out—stubbornly refusing to stop trying when I have nothing left to give.
Instead of emitting a soft glow, I burn bright, then burn out.
I get that brother. I had some bouts lately, in the end I gave myself grace for showing up. Tomorrow's another bunch of moments, and forcing is almost never the best way. Its hard for me to back off of myself, but it's a decision, and I made it. Perfect as can be, but hard. Love you dude
I'm sure a lot of us relate to this. Burnout is lonely and painful. We drive ourselves like slave masters until creativity balks.